I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
