if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize