I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
