watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
