just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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