But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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