her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
