am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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