Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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