Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
