she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you made out with another girl for some wings
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
