I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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