Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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