I have demons in me.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
