can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
