we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
