I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Small penises have feelings too.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
