Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
