do herpes really smell.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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