pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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