please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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