weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
