Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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