So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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