I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
