I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
