Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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