After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
tell me about the fingering
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