capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
