whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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