I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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