If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm always down for nudity.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
