he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
