:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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