Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
