I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
