I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
