I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
