would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
