She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
