my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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