we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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