im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need a burrito and a hug.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
