I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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