i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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