the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
