be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
