All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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