Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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