Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
