I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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